Consider the humorous and/or storyline introduction skipped. I’ll get right to it. I am concerned about worship services catered to children. Actually, I am concerned about any worship service catered to particular person or demographic, but that is a deeper discussion. Weekly, churches spend hours in preparation with comitted volunteers and budgets on activities that are dedicated to caring for the souls of young people. Some of these weekly events range from small gatherings with volunteers to fully staffed media extravaganzas that rival shows on Nickelodeon. The purpose is to impact the lives of children for the gospel. Some do, others, not so much. Even when the word worship is not used, these activities frequently overlap or serve as a replacement for the worship of the church.
My specific concern is that these events play a significant role in perpetuating the “worship wars”. This is when churches struggle over the issue of which style is best for their corporate gatherings. My premise is that events labeled “children’s worship” are frequently instructing a paradigm for worship that is so divergent from what kids are likely to experience as adults that they lose the very heart of what it means to gather corporately as believers. In doing so, each generation is raised to embrace and form opinions to create their own experiential view of worship. As they mature, they make value judgements of their own, and frequently view “adult” worship as one which they cannot relate or is disconnected from their culture. Their concept of worship becomes based on their childhood preferences and sensibilities. In other words, we have taught them how to “worship”.
After years of pastoring through the ever emerging conflicts over worship style in the western church, I have grown more and more convinced that the first place to seek to end the issue of style begins with the event we call “children’s worship”.
I will preface my thoughts with the following:
- There is a place and time for activities that are age appropriate and gospel saturated for children and young adults.
- Authentic, and creative outpourings of ministry in corporate worship are important.
- Innovative methods that challenge children and train them in Scripture is crucial to their exposure to the Gospel and future spiritual development.
- Many of these children’s events have been established with a sincere desire to please God and share the Gospel.
When my kids were young the church had a children’s program up to six years of age. After six, kids were asked to participate with their parents in corporate worship. This was hard work as a parent. It meant instructing them to sing, listen, use their bibles and draw pictures based on what they heard. Sometimes coloring the worship bulletin was the only thing that kept all of us engaged. Other times, it meant some corrective measures to help them know what was acceptable. The preaching was regularly 40 minutes or more. Sometimes even my ability to concentrate was challenged. But the kids learned and seemed to even enjoy being in “big church” more than any other activity. Okay, maybe not more than AWANA, but still it was a joy to them.
After moving to another church, I found the methodology was different. Children’s programming provided an environment for a separate “worship” time for kids through fifth grade. It involved some music, drama, and brief lesson time. The kids seemed to enjoy it. In the summer, the programming took a break and kids then worshiped with their families. It had only been 3 months but the change was immediately noticeable. My son especially could not concentrate. He struggled to sit still, he wouldn’t read his bible, and did not engage with the sermons. He was just plain bored. As parents we felt like we were doing something wrong and took steps backward in our spiritual investment of our kids. It took another year to make the connection, when he would beg to go to the children’s programming over being with us in worship.
There were few differences in the two churches, the music was nearly identical, the preaching was engaging, and the length of service was actually a bit shorter. Was the children’s programming that superior? I visited a few times so I could to see what was drawing him. In my opinion, it was okay. Most of the music was done by CD but it was high energy (danceable), with low participatory expectations and a short character based lesson. The principles were not wrong or heretical, just not very deep or challenging. The point here is not to critique the event (though I expressed a few concerns) as much as observing that my son was being drawn to an event he deemed as worship and began making value comparisons between that which the kids were doing and what the adults were doing. At the age of 8 and 9 years of age he was in effect saying, “your worship doesn’t fit me”.
So, the worship war continues. The grid for acceptable worship became more about what fits him, and not necessarily what honors Christ and edifies the saints. Being too young to understand the dynamics, I blame myself for not seeing it. Knowingly or not, for years we have been teaching our children to have a “have it your way” mentality regarding corporate worship that when full grown could be viewed as the impetus for many sinful divisions, gossip and fissures in the church. So how do we distinguish what is truly worship and that which is maybe a fun engaging and exuberant large group Sunday School hour?
There are a few precepts for worship from my perspective that are the core qualifications for worship. I have Scriptural defense for these in other places in my blog. I will not seek to defend their validity in this article.
Precept #1 – Christian Worship is for those who profess Christ as Savior. The gathering of God’s people is for them to have audience collectively with Him and humbly bring honor to His great name. At all times we should desire and pray that those who are outside of the faith will come, feel welcome, and will observe what true worshipers of God look and behave like. Whatever we do in the name of Christ for the purpose of worship should be for those who believe to engage with a Holy God.
Precept #2 – Worship is to be a dialogical engagement, participatory and Scripturally focused. The gathering of believers for worship includes both directional teaching, and response from those who worship. If these are not present and/or well thought through then the gathering may be socially engaging, even spiritual in nature but if the people are not engaged and Scripture is not taught in a cohesive fashion then it raises questions as to whether it is actually worship.
Precept #3 – Worship is defined by a focus on Scripture, ordinance, giving, praise, prayer, repentance, confession, and celebration. These are just a few elements that are central to worship. While ordinance is not a specifically prescribed element for each worship encounter it is a central part of what the church deems as worship.
Precept #4 – Worship is designed to be familial and communal in nature. The Shema (Deuteronomy 6:4-9) gives us the most succinct and very early instructions as to what worship looks like within the family. Corporate worship is at heart a family concern. First the family unit and secondly the family of God.
I believe that these gatherings usually have some of these components. Generally, there are songs of praise. There will be a prayer. There will be some kind of Bible reference. Sometimes there is a drama to tie the lesson together. But who is engaged? How are they engaged? How does this connect with the life of the church as a whole? What perceptions of God, worship and church are communicated through these weekly events? What thought and/or preparation toward becoming viable, contributing, heart-felt worshippers is being instilled during this hour? What connection, if any, is there to the liturgy and historic legacy of corporate worship of the church? These questions I ask not because I want to dismantle children’s ministry, but because I am passionate about discipleship and authentic worship in these young souls we have been entrusted. If a church is to engage in a age graded worship services, these and other questions must be addressed.
So, What Do We Do?
So what about the children? Do we force them into situations where they cannot relate or learn to engage with God in a meaningful way? By all means, no. Within the scope of times of worship there are a myriad of things that can be done to encourage training in Godliness and provide solid examples of meaningful and biblical worship for all ages.
Step One: Intentional Worship Training – Instill biblical training church-wide on principles of worship. We tend to train membership how to recognize heresy, defend the faith, manage finances, deal with life struggles, recover from addictions, and manage relationships but we do not typically train believers in the biblical principles of worship. This one activity will fill all of eternity. It goes beyond the obligatory annual sermon or “pep talk” on worship unity from the pastor. It’s more than a statement on a website. It is an integral discipleship model for the whole body. Biblical and authentic worship is the lifeline to our spiritual health and we spend so little time and energy toward teaching it. We invite all ages to the worship gathering and yet, hold few expectations and responsibilities upon ourselves.
Step Two: Integrated Corporate Worship – “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” (Matt. 19:14) I understand and appreciate the western world’s desire to provide specific ministry to children. I agree that babies, pre-schoolers and some special needs should have programing available to families to help them as they raise their children in the Lord. We also need are parents who care about living an example of worship before their children and choose to bring them into the corporate gathering. Bring the kids to worship, they are our mission field. Let them experience, learn and begin to grasp the deep things of God. I will not say what age to do this, but when a child can understand the word no and begin to communicate using words, try bringing them in to worship for a portion of the service and slowly train them to stay longer.
Step Three: Sensitivity In Corporate Worship – Leaders should be sensitive to parents and families bringing children to worship. Kids are not going to understand everything, most of us adults don’t grasp everything either. They can however, absorb truth and read the Scriptures for themselves. Leaders should recognize their audience and give liberty to parents in the process of training young worshippers. Let the older wiser adults help with this effort. Leaders also have to be careful about content that may be inappropriate for children. It does not mean avoid subject matter, but it means be wise and prudent in their speech. Lastly, don’t be boring. Bring the living faith of Christ with you to worship. Trust me the kids know the real thing when they see it.
Step Four: Model Authentic Worship – We cannot lead what we do not model. Being an authentic worship community is crucial to ending this often frivolous war of style and preference. Genuine relationship with God personally, in the family and corporately is the key. This includes a level of engagement and vulnerability that most churches do not experience today. It is not a demonstration of emotional energy. It is not solely maintaining decorum through cerebral hymns. It is about Jesus, and making Him the central part of our lives and our worship that true transformation and renewal in people can happen.
The war is still lingering. We have fought many battles; Projection, Hymnals, Lighting, Drums, Electric Guitars and the list goes on. We are no closer to winning the war. As a matter of fact, the casualty list is growing. As long as we are perpetuating a model that espouses style and preference we will continue to have strife in every generation. We have been petty and selfish in the name of missional and cultural sensitivity far too long. Our children are leaving the church in record numbers not because we don’t have the right music, but because they often do not see a difference between believers and the rest of the world.
We fight and divide over trivialities. We would rather fire staff and split churches than work through hurt, sin and disagreements. We often do not engage in our worship authentically or reflect the heart of God displayed for us in Christ Jesus. We have elevated style as a first tier issue today. It is a missional concern yet, not the top priority. Who God is and how He is to be engaged in worship is our first priority. It is at the heart of the Gospel. [ Read More ] Let’s teach the next generation how to seek Him while He may be found.