I do not have the gift of encouragement. At least not that I can tell. Yet it has always confounded me how humanity is generally more inclined to withhold encouragement from each other. People even struggle to receive it or act surprised when somebody actually is encouraging. We always wait until it’s too late to say the things that need to be said. Remember the Mike and the Mechanics song from the 80’s “The Living Years” [Listen]
Every generation
Blames the one before
And all of their frustrations
Come beating on your door
I know that I’m a prisoner
To all my Father held so dear
I know that I’m a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years
I was at the World of Coke Museum in Atlanta recently with my son. There were people from all over the world there and their staff was very kind and helpful on the whole, which is another rarity in this world. We were headed into the 4D theater and a young girl probably, no more than 18, was handing out the fancy old school paper 3D glasses. She asked how we are doing today and I replied. Then I asked how she was doing. The countenance on her face changed and I said “how often to you stand here all day and no one asks you how you are doing?”. The response was sobering. She said she couldn’t remember anyone ever asking and thanked me for asking. I told her thank you for her work and for being kind and friendly and we moved along.
I began to think about that encounter later, and once again I was reminded that words shared between human beings are so powerful. In just a few words we can build up or tear down. Yet how often do we find ourselves throwing words around as if they have no consequence at all. More over, how much regret is there in the world for the words we shared which we wished we hadn’t and the words we longed to share but didn’t. There are so many songs in the secular arena that come to mind on this very subject two that come to mind are John Mayer’s: Say What You Need To Say, Mike and The Mechanics: In the Living Years.
The Scriptures also have much to say about encouragement. We are not only asked but commanded to be encouraging. Here are ten.
- Ephesians 4:29 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear.
- Proverbs 10:11 The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, But the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.
- 1 Thessalonians 4:18 Therefore comfort one another with these words.
- Hebrews 10:25 not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more, as you see the day drawing near.
- 1 Thessalonians 3:2 and we sent Timothy, our brother and God’s fellow worker in the gospel of Christ, to strengthen and encourage you as to your faith,
- Acts 15:32 And Judas and Silas, also being prophets themselves, encouraged and strengthened the brethren with a lengthy message.
- Romans 15:4 For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.
- Hebrews 10:24 and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds,
- Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.
- Hebrews 3:13 But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called “Today,” lest any one of you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.
There is much more Scripture to draw upon but these are a few of the most common. There is a distinction that must be made with encouragement. There is a difference between encouragement and flattery. Flattery has as its aim something to gain from the kind words that are expressed and is focused on human goodness. Biblical encouragement has nothing to gain but to build up the other person and is focused on the Gospel. In the end, we are not to hold back encouragement from one another. It should be the first thing on our lips. We must speak words of truth and encouragement to one another.
Sometimes this is a hard truth but I believe more often than not we are to lovingly see God at work in others, recognize it and speak humbly and graciously about it. John Mayer recognizes the need to speak in his song “Say” from the movie “The Bucket List”.
Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems,
Better put ’em in quotations
Say what you need to say [x8]
Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you’d be better off instead,
If you could only . . .
Say what you need to say [x8]
Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You’d better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again
Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open
Say what you need to say [x24]
The world knows this too and struggles as reflected in these lyrics. The church should be the most encouraging place in the world for the grace of Christ has appeared to us. What is it that we fear, that we will frequently and boldly speak of others failures but encouragement and grace is not pouring from our lips? Can we expect to win a generation of hurting, discouraged, disillusioned and disenfranchised people with this silence as the unspoken motto of the church. “Dear God, help me to be an encouragement to my brothers and sisters. May we find Your grace working in others even as we struggle with the hard things in life.” Amen