Go Ahead, Get Angry. But…

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]

Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness!
You have given me relief when I was in distress.
Be gracious to me and hear my prayer!

O men, how long shall my honor be turned into shame?
How long will you love vain words and seek after lies? Selah
But know that the LORD has set apart the godly for himself;
the LORD hears when I call to him.

Be angry, and do not sin;
ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent. Selah
Offer right sacrifices,
and put your trust in the LORD.

There are many who say, “Who will show us some good?
Lift up the light of your face upon us, O LORD!”
You have put more joy in my heart
than they have when their grain and wine abound.

In peace I will both lie down and sleep;
for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.

Brief Commentary on Psalm 4

Verse 1 – God is righteous and willing to hear His people. He is the God “of” your righteousness. We are not righteous apart from Him. Distress, anxiety and anger are real. God sees all and hears all.

Verse 2 – The Lord is the one who judges and does so in His time. He does so with grace, compassion as well as strength and power. We are to wait on Him.

Verse 3 – We have hope that God knows the heart of us all and has a plan for those who call upon him.

Verse 4 – Do not respond to anger with sin. Wait and listen in the quietness of your heart before Him for the truth of His word.

Verse 5 – Do not take control, but offer your worship and sacrifice of yourself to him “die to self” and trust in Him not in man.

Verse 6 &7 – Remember the promises of God and take Joy. Rejoice in the Lord especially in trials because He is light. He is God and good at all times. You can take refuge in Him. (Ps. 46)

Verse 8 – God gives peace. (John 14:27) His peace surpasses understanding and He will guide your steps.  Sleep is an indicator of removal of anxiety. Find your rest in Him for your life, career and justice.

What is this anger you speak of?

The Scriptures do not hide the reality of personal sin, broken relationships, injustice and human anger, and this Psalm is a keen example. It is not the anger that is the sin. It is more likely the reaction, thought process and management of the offense that cause believers to become contributing offenders to a conflict.

The child of God will experience many offenses in life. Paul clearly outlined what the believer’s response should be in his letter to the Ephesians (4:26), which mirrors this Psalm. So, the mystery of “if” anger will happen is resolved. The issue of anger as sin is resolved but, how does the believer typically sin in their anger? What behaviors mark the transition from simply being offended to contributing to the sinful behavior?

Here are seven examples: 

1. Retaliatory words & actions
2. Gossip & slander
3. Avoidance
4. Malicious actions
5. Harboring anger & bitterness
6. Demanding your own justice
7. Controlling behaviors and manipulation

There are variations of these, but they represent attitudes and actions that can move a person from the offended party to being a contributing offender. A contributing offender is one who was sinned against but through attitude and action contributed to the on-going offense. At times this can happen almost simultaneously where it is hard to distinguish between the two. 

The complexities are higher in cases where the wound is deep, the length of time is long, and the more egregious the sin. This is why Paul admonishes the church to handle issues when they are small. Not only to protect unity, but to help the church stay pure of heart and mind. The pollution of unforgiven sin is a malady that will infect a congregation and destroy lives, ministries and families as well as serve to hinder the work of the Gospel.

What if you are the offender or have become a contributing offender? How do you stop the cycle? How do you mend relationships that seem damaged beyond repair?

For The Offender – Examine your heart as the Psalm above suggests.  Remember who you have actually sinned against and the grace you have received as a result from Christ. Confess your sin to Christ first, then your brother/sister. Understand that your sin is likely just as grievous to God as the offense(s) against you.

Break the Cycle – Begin to see the offender as someone God loves rather than an enemy. Consider Romans 3:23, 1 John 1, John 3:16-17, Colossians 3, Ephesians 6, and Romans 12. In the onslaught of attack from another, you can look upward and see Christ as your example of how to handle the offense. (Philippians 2)

Repairing The Relationship – Avoidance of reconciliation is equal to, if not greater than, retaliation. Avoid the trappings of anger or bitterness. Do not allow apathy or indifference which indicates an issue of the heart and impedes the ability to love your neighbor.  Also be careful of pride, which may cause you to view of the other person as unworthy of  forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not the removal of consequence. However, it is a required step by the Scripture to give any hope to restoration, emotional and spiritual health. Relationships will take time to heal and each person will have to humble themselves and work on improving trust. “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts” (Col. 3:16) even when the sins of others affect your world and injustice seems to prevail.

Questions For Reflection

1. What areas of life have I allowed the offense of another to become or form sinful habits for myself?
2. What does the bible say about people who are not willing to forgive?
3. What does the bible say about people who do not see their own sin?
4. In what ways have I formed thoughts that are unhealthy about how to be angry?
5. How do I need to think and act differently toward those who offend me?

[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]